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So what ever happened to the DNA evidence?

July 8, 2009, 8:45 PM

For the past four days, I’ve been having a little fun with my Facebook friends. I’ve been posting status messages with the phrase “DNA evidence” in it without any explanation, and seeing what kind of responses I get. I chose “DNA evidence” as a phrase as a tribute to the use of DNA evidence as a running joke in six consecutive Strong Bad Emails on Homestar Runner. Then it was all explained in the cartoon DNA Evidence.

All together, I posted four “DNA evidence” status messages:

Ben Schumin is going to have that DNA evidence on the desk by nine!

Ben Schumin is not going to make the 51 bus tonight. The DNA evidence pointed to it.

Ben Schumin wonders what happened to the DNA evidence.

Ben Schumin *sigh*… DNA evidence.

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A prostitution ring in Dupont Circle station?

July 11, 2008, 12:13 AM

That just blows my mind. Two Metro employees are accused of running a prostitution ring out of the Dupont Circle Metro station. According to the July 10, 2008 Examiner article called “Metro manager accused of prostitution agrees to life skills, education program”, station manager Sharon Waters, dubbed the “Metro Madam”, and custodian Pam Goins were accused of “arranging sexual trysts for money”, even going so far as to use the station’s PA system to “facilitate an arrangement”.

You may recall that Dupont Circle is my work station. I go through Dupont Circle station twice a day every day, and have seen both female station managers and female custodians at the station. So now I wonder if it was anyone I know, since I occasionally talk to personnel in the station, especially if I worked late and I know there won’t be a Glenmont train for a number of minutes.

Of course, the PA system part really gets me. Have you ever heard Metro station PA announcements? They’re not exactly the gold standard for clarity. In fact, most of them are downright unintelligible, particularly the ones piped in from Central Control. The announcements that originate from the station manager’s kiosk are a bit better than the ones that come from Central, but still not exactly crystal clear, especially since the primary construction material in most stations is concrete. Too many announcements sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher, i.e. completely unintelligible. Maybe those hooker announcements sounded a little better, but who knows.

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This is why we’re glad Metro’s a transit agency and not a movie producer…

March 20, 2008, 7:20 AM

Need I say more:

Don’t quit your day job, Metro.

Categories: Amusing, WMATA

I call this my “heartburn” look…

November 18, 2007, 12:27 AM

I’ve got two photos to show you that I found somewhat amusing. This first one was taken late on Friday at work, and is of Zack, a coworker of mine, and me, posing for a photo in my office:

Ben and Zack after work

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Categories: Amusing, Work

You know you’ve always wanted to do this…

October 15, 2007, 2:41 PM

You know you’ve always wanted to do this:

I can’t believe, first of all, that this guy actually did it, and that he did it and got caught on camera. Of course, he kind of got it in the end, so to speak, as the glass broke on him, and, well, I know I’d hate to have my naked butt that close to shards of broken glass. One can only imagine how this guy tried to tap-dance his way out of that incident, especially having been caught on camera. I also wonder how much he had to pay out to fix the copier, since my guess is that it was probably more than glass that got busted. Additionally, I wonder how much injury he got to his behind. I’d hate to have to tell the doctor, “Well, I was sitting on the copier to copy my behind, and the glass broke.” I hope he came up with a better story than that.

Some people…

Categories: Amusing

The things you see at Dupont Circle…

September 26, 2007, 8:19 PM

Here’s why I love working near Dupont Circle. It’s because you never know what you’re going to see. And this isn’t even political – it’s sometimes just downright off the wall. Seriously.

Now coming out of the Metro through Dupont Circle station’s south entrance in the morning, you’ll normally see several people. There’s the guy handing out the Express, the guy handing out the Examiner, you’ll possibly see a person playing music, and sometimes people handing out flyers for the deal-du-jour. Today, there was a guy handing out flyers… wearing a chicken suit. Well, actually, I think he was supposed to be a rooster, based on the appearance. But regardless, there he was. Check it out…

A man in a rooster costume hands out literature at Dupont Circle station

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Categories: Amusing, Commuting

The things that happen on Metro…

August 19, 2007, 1:34 PM

The fun thing about public transportation in a big city is that you never know what you’re going to find people doing. I went looking for Metro videos on YouTube this morning, and I found some good ones. Of course, I’ve already shared my “Puff the Magic Dragon” experience with you, but aside from that, other people sing, and other people do all kinds of other odd things. It seems that late at night is when a lot of these things happen, though the “Puff” incident happened during rush hour.

So let me share some things with you…

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Categories: Amusing, WMATA

A couple of pictures I found amusing…

June 27, 2007, 10:08 PM

Did I mention how much I love living in the DC area? I really enjoy life in and around Washington. You see so many interesting things and so many interesting things happen. And I have a couple of amusing photos that I captured with my cell phone…

Portable toilet at 17th and P

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As you can see, “moon shoes” are not exactly something we can balance on…

June 3, 2007, 10:19 AM

I don’t know if you saw the splash page or not yet, but it shows me balancing on “moon shoes”…

Balancing on moon shoes

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Categories: Amusing, Katie, Staunton

This slogan generator is something else…

April 28, 2007, 7:07 PM

On my discussion forums recently, a user linked us to a site called The Advertising Slogan Generator. Basically, you put a word in, and it gives you slogans with that word in it. The results run the range from boring to odd to somewhat questionable depending on how active your imagination is. I tested it with “Schumin” and copied the results:

  • “Schumin – It Looks Good on You.”
  • “They’re Yummy For Your Schumin.”
  • “How Many Licks Does it Take to Get to the Center of a Schumin?”
  • “Did Somebody Say Schumin?”
  • “Let Your Fingers Do the Walking Through the Schumin.”
  • “Recommended By Dr. Schumin.”
  • “If You Want To Get Ahead, Get A Schumin.”
  • “Grab Life by the Schumin.”
  • “Full Of Eastern Schumin.”
  • “The Dirt says Hot, The Label says Schumin.”
  • “Fresh from the Captain’s Schumin.”
  • “Mild Green Schumin Liquid.”
  • “Gee, Your Schumin Smells Terrific.”

Take these as you wish, but the first one kind of sounds like it might be useful in the online store. Who knows.

The whole word-insertion thing kind of reminds me of when, on Pee-wee’s Playhouse, the secret word was “Zyzzybalubah“, and Pee-wee asked Ms. Yvonne, “And may I take your zyzzybalubah?” Pee-wee had no clue what “zyzzybalubah” was at that point, and so he put it to use. And it seems about as nonsensical as some of these slogans.

Categories: Amusing

Now let’s travel to Breda 3040…

March 4, 2007, 8:54 AM

As promised, I have posted the videos of the man singing on the Metro to YouTube. And here you are:


Singing “Age of Aquarius”

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Categories: Amusing, DC trips, WMATA

I wonder if he’s been puffing on the magic dragon…

March 1, 2007, 7:50 PM

So I’m on the Metro, on Breda 3040. I got on at Mt. Vernon Square, and rode all the way to Huntington. Most people board the Yellow Line at Gallery Pl-Chinatown or L’Enfant Plaza. Those who want seats board at the former. This guy got on at Gallery Place and sat in the seat in front of me. He was a middle-aged white guy, and appeared to be coming home from work.

Why is this notable? He started singing on the train. He’s sitting there, and he’s got his MP3 player with headphones, and he’s singing to himself, somewhat loudly. It wouldn’t be that bad in and of itself, but this guy could not sing to save his life. He was oblivious to the fact that everyone around him was making fun of him. I took the additional step of pulling out Big Mavica and recording him. I’ll put that up when I get home. He sang a bunch of different songs. Two that I knew were Age of Aquarius and Puff, the Magic Dragon. He was awful. He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. The other people on the train wondered if he was not exactly all together. I suggested that he probably just didn’t care, or that he thought he sounded good.

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Categories: Amusing, DC trips, WMATA

Also, do you ever have this?

January 20, 2007, 12:37 AM

Some nights when you don’t get enough sleep, getting up can be a whole lot of fun. This is what happened this morning. The real alarm clock goes off. Snooze bar gets whacked, and I get a few more minutes of shuteye. Repeat a few times. Thirty minutes past the first blast of the alarm clock, my cell phone alarm goes off.

This, by the way, is deliberate. My real alarm clock is within arm’s reach. Then my cell phone is on my desk, and therefore out of reach from the bed. Thus to kill all the alarms, I have to be fully alert.

So I tried to drown out the cell phone. Then my regular alarm goes off again. Snoozed. The cell phone also automatically snoozed, thereby going silent. I then start negotiating with myself. Seriously. I look at the time in big numbers on my alarm clock, and I think about how much wiggle room I have time-wise, and whether I can still catch a few more winks. I make my determination, and then either snooze or get up. So we look, and it’s like this: DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE *whack*.

Then of course actually getting completely up on those kinds of mornings requires a can or two of Coke Zero. Once we clear that, I’m usually good for the day, though. I just find it amazing that I found myself negotiating with myself over about fifteen minutes of sleep…

Categories: Amusing, Dreams, Myself

No, I want a “platinum” wash, please.

January 8, 2007, 10:33 PM

The folks at All-American Auto Spa in Waynesboro ought to be ashamed of themselves for this misspelling on their wash-selection screen. It’s a real doozie, too. You can select one of three washes: Silver, Gold, and “Plantinun”. I presume that they meant “Platinum”, but that’s not what they said. Check it out:

"PLANTINUN WASH"

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Categories: Amusing, Companies

Eating a spoonful of cinnamon…

December 22, 2006, 10:52 PM

I recently watched a video on YouTube of one of the participants on my discussion forums eating a spoonful of straight cinnamon. Literally, straight cinnamon. He poured some cinnamon from a bottle directly onto the spoon, and swallowed it.

And I would say that he paid dearly for it, as evidenced by his facial expressions. And the ginger ale that he was drinking didn’t help any, as the carbonation had to make it worse. If it were me, I’d have used water or milk.

It reminds me of what I used to do my freshman year of college with the ramen noodles. I used to remove the flavoring package, and then mash up the dry noodles in the package, and eat them like potato chips. Then with the flavoring package, I’d eat that straight. That was a strong flavor right there, mostly in the salt content. VERY salty. Makes your eyes water. I also don’t recommend that anyone else do that.

Of course, we didn’t have YouTube during my college years, or else I might very well have made a video of it and posted it online. Of course, in my early videos with Big Mavica, I was big on capturing crazy antics from a behind-the-camera vantage point. Then and now, it’s rare that I’ll make an appearance in front of the camera, but it’s been known to happen.

And as far as cinnamon goes, I know that too much cinnamon with food in much smaller amounts than that makes me uncomfortable. I can’t imagine what it feels like to eat that much cinnamon at once.

Categories: Amusing, YouTube