I can now add “commode critic” to my resume…

4 minute read

March 28, 2013, 12:44 PM

So I got back Tuesday night from a trip to Stuarts Draft.  That was fun, though not the fun that I was expecting.  I got to visit my friend Bergit in Charlottesville, and then spent two days spending time with my parents.  The original plan was to go to Roanoke with Mom on Monday and also visit friends and see transportation-related stuff, but that unfortunately got snowed out.

But first, though, in case you’re wondering what the deal with the title is, let me explain.  My trip started out with proof that my kidneys do great work, and that having a cup of coffee before a three-hour road trip is inadvisable.  Yes, I took far more restroom breaks on this trip than I normally would.  I ended up stopping at the rest area on I-66 near Manassas, Sheetz in Madison, the new Trader Joe’s in Charlottesville, and then the rest area on I-64 near Ivy.  Usually I can make it on one restroom break.  But, noooooo… my body decided that this was the perfect time to unload a bunch of water.  And I was not shy about discussing restrooms on social media on the entire trip.  This from the Sheetz in Madison:

This road trip has been brought to you by the letter P, and by the number 1.

And I accompanied this on Instagram with the following caption: “This road trip has been brought to you by the letter P, and by the number 1.”  Yep… that kind of day.

Then on Monday, while at Staunton Mall with Mom, I commented on toilets again:

This is a single-seat restroom. Why even bother with the partition?

This was at the JCPenney store.  This time, I said, “This is a single-seat restroom. Why even bother with the partition?”  But seriously, for a one-seater restroom, places usually dispense with the partitions.  Yet this place had one.  Odd.

Then at Costco in Harrisonburg on Tuesday, I discovered that Costco sells toilets.  Yes, they do.  So I wanted to see how a Costco toilet was:

First of all, show of hands: who already knew that Costco sold toilets? That said, here I am, doing a fit test on said commode, complete with reading material.

Yes, I got Mom to take a photo of me sitting on the display commode.  And then while we were checking out, I showed the two people at the register the photo.  Mom got back and they were laughing, and she knew.  “He showed you the picture, didn’t he?”  She couldn’t believe, after all, that I (A) wanted to have that photo made in the first place, and (B) that I would show it to other people.  After all, you put a display toilet in a store, and what do you expect?  Plus social media.

Otherwise, though, I did enjoy the winter wonderland out there on this trip.  Realize that it was snowing for two of the three days of this trip.  The snow started on Sunday afternoon while I was visiting with Bergit, and it kept going until late Monday afternoon.  I drove over the mountain while the snow was falling for the first time on Sunday.  That was interesting, with the fog lights (now LED!) on, and big flakes falling.  The road was fine, but I drove more slowly than I would otherwise due to an abundance of caution, just in case.  I’ve been up on the mountain after snow had fallen before, but never during a snow event.  So that made me a shade nervous, and in fact, that was my only concern once the snow started coming down.  I knew how to drive in Waynesboro and Stuarts Draft in any conditions, after all.  And then on Monday after the snow stopped, I put the polarizer on the camera and got some photos of the neighborhood…

I think the last time I saw Stuarts Draft in snow was in January 2010 for my sister’s wedding.  Then it also snowed at my house in Maryland, but by the time I got back, it was gone.

Then the car was pretty gross from all of the snow and salt:

The Soul, with salt residue all over it.

Look at how it wears that salt coating.  The back is particularly gross.  Can’t wait to get that gunk off.  And of course, this just after I put it through the car wash to get some mud off of it (no idea how that mud got on there to begin with).

So all in all, not a bad trip.  I leave you with this: the view out my car’s windshield on Monday right before Mom and I went out for a while:

View from inside my car on Monday morning.  Thankfully, this was very easy to remove.  And yes, that is a Massachusetts E-ZPass on my windshield (no fees!).