How many Scientologists does it take to fix a roof?

2 minute read

February 27, 2011, 12:23 AM

It could start out a particularly bad joke, but the question still is, “How many cult members does it take to fix a roof?” Well, it turns out that the answer is nine. Here’s how it breaks down:

One to fix it...
One to fix it…

...and eight to hold the roof down. Seriously, count 'em.
…and eight to hold the roof down. Seriously, count ’em.

You would not believe how hard I was laughing when I saw this going on out my office window during my lunch hour. A friend from another organization in the building let me know it was going on, and hilarity ensued, as we watched them go at it. This could have been the beginning of a lame joke if it weren’t for the fact that we have photographic evidence of the fail in action.

I don’t know which this is more a testament to: the high winds we had through DC on Friday afternoon, or the evidently poor construction on the Founding Church of Scientology building. Realize that all of the parts of the roof of my building next door stayed in place, and no members of the building management staff at my building were up on the roof with a cordless drill putting it back on.

Truth be told, the only people up on the roof of 1616 P Street at the time all this was going on were my friend and I, since after watching (and laughing at) them from my office for a while, we went up to the roof deck and watched them from there for a while. And took more pictures of them.

Apparently, you see, it takes a lot of people to hold the body thetans in when parts of the roof are flying off. Can’t be letting those out for free. It probably costs $100,000 plus a lifetime membership in the International Association of Scientologists for them to let the body thetans out.

This is also why they say that “haste makes waste”. Apparently, they should never have fired Rand Construction because it would have taken an extra month to finish the building, and then brought on Regency Commercial Construction. Maybe that extra month would have ensured that the proper work would have been done to make sure that the roof stays on, no?

Web site: Roof Design for Proper Wind Resistance

Song: Children Explain the Story of XENU

Quote: Meanwhile, one may be surprised to find out that I'm a little burned out on Scientology right now. I'm still very much into Anonymous, but more about the information-is-free activism that's been going on surrounding WikiLeaks and the unrest in the Middle East (though let it be known that I couldn't hack my way out of a wet paper bag). I haven't been to a Scientology raid since December, and haven't written about a raid since August, and found myself taking more photos of S2 and S4 buses as of late than of raid activity when I was there. I need a break from it (but do plan to be at the raid in March), plus after seeing tweets like this and hearing people bring up Scientology around me just randomly, I feel like I'm starting to get typecast as the anti-Scientology guy, and I don't want to get put into a box like that.

Categories: Amusing, Project Chanology