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Not a soul came to take a stress test while we were out there…

August 22, 2010, 11:19 PM

Well, I’d say that our raid on Saturday was a success. Not a single person came to take a “free stress test” while we were out raiding, and eventually Scientology decided to just pack it in. This is what their stress test table looked like most of the time we were out:

This is what their stress test table looked like most of the time we were out.

At least until it looked like this:

Dismantling the tent

By the way, the two Scientologists taking the tent down was perhaps the most people that were at the stress test event the entire time. Seriously, no one came to take their stress test. It should also be noted that the E-meters in use did not carry the required warning label on them. Take a look:

The E-meter on the table, with no warning label present.

The E-meter on the table, with no warning label present.

The warning label is supposed to be prominent, and state something to the effect that “…any person using it for auditing or counseling of any kind is forbidden by law to represent that there is any medical or scientific basis for believing or asserting that the device is useful in the diagnosis, treatment, or prevention of any disease.” I see no warning labels, do you? The writing on the bottom of the meter says “INTERNSHIP” (does that mean this isn’t even a real E-meter?).

Meanwhile, while the Scilons weren’t out bull-baiting us this time around, they did send someone out to film us:

Scientology videographer in action

Why didn’t they send Vici Turrisi out to film us? She’s got lots of experience filming us in the past, and so one would think they’d use her. But instead they’ve got this new guy. And if you need proof of Scientological affiliation of this new guy, here it is:

The only person he would speak to was Scientology spokesmodel Sylvia Stanard, and the only person Sylvia would speak to was him.

The only person he would speak to was Scientology spokesmodel Sylvia Stanard, and the only person Sylvia would speak to was him.

On the topic of Sylvia, she’s apparently not even trying anymore. Usually, when someone dyes their hair, they at least try to make it believable. If you’re going to lie and make the world think that you really do have naturally light brown hair, you have to constantly maintain it, because the hair is going to still grow in, in Sylvia’s case, gray. She had some serious roots going on:

Sylvia Stanard's gray roots

Looks like someone needs to head over to their hairdresser post-haste. Of course, this isn’t the first time she’s had hair issues. One time, she came back from the beauty parlor with bright red hair. Now she’s apparently decided to forgo the beauty parlor and let her true colors show. And there’s nothing particularly shameful about having gray hair. Neither of my parents have ever colored their hair, and gray looks just fine on them. It’s when you are trying to make people think that you have dark hair and let the roots show that much where we have issues.

Meanwhile, we made sure to thoroughly troll, and troll we did.

We made sure to troll the camera guy (who I suspect is the new Sadie-type figure now that Sadie is apparently gone - nine months now) with this "Spylon You Fail" sign.
We made sure to troll the camera guy (who I suspect is the new Sadie-type figure now that Sadie is apparently gone – nine months now) with this “Spylon You Fail” sign.

MaidofWin was out with her "HONK" sign once again, soliciting honks from the cars driving by. With that, we were particularly successful this time.
MaidofWin was out with her “HONK” sign once again, soliciting honks from the cars driving by. With that, we were particularly successful this time.

I'm surprised we didn't think of this one a long time ago. The Dianetics pyramid logo is just ripe for this kind of thing.
I’m surprised we didn’t think of this one a long time ago. The Dianetics pyramid logo is just ripe for this kind of thing.

And then I didn’t even bother with the mask this time. They all know who I am over there already, and besides, it was a bit humid. So I just wore the Guy Fawkes mask on my arm as an identification mark more than anything else, to indicate that I was with Anonymous, and not with a mind-controlling cult.

And then one of my coworkers showed up, and we posed for a photo:

Posing with a V mask

That’s going on the wall, that’s for sure. And it was good to see Beauchamp swing by our raid.

And since MaidofWin found it so interesting, bus photos:

Bus photos

Bus photos

Yes, even when I’m trolling Scientology, I can’t resist being a transit nerd, getting some of WMATA’s New Flyer LFA buses running the S2 and S4 routes.

So all in all, I’d say that Scientology was pretty effectively raided and trolled for August. I’m looking forward to September, when the weather starts to cool off, that’s for sure.

Web site: "How Often to Get Highlights Touched Up" - yes, I'm looking at you, Sylvia. Fix that mop, or let it go gray already.

Song: You may notice that Sparrow was absent at this raid. He's currently being taken through the legal system by Scientology, as he has described. I'm not going to comment on the legal case at this time, but Sparrow has my full support.

Quote: Good news! Turns out it was low coolant after all. I went out to Sandy Point on Sunday afternoon for some beach-bumming (and getting eaten alive by bugs on land and having to avoid jellyfish in the water), and tested the heat again on the way back. Much to my surprise, hot air came out this time. Good thing that we got this fixed now, and I now have a bottle of it in the closet at home should I need to top it off again. So no Firestone place for me any time soon (hopefully).

Categories: Project Chanology