Sometimes one wonders who that “Ms. Right” might be…

3 minute read

April 27, 2010, 3:14 PM

As you may know, I am currently 28 and very much single. I have not been in a relationship since the Clinton administration, and that was the only romantic relationship I’ve ever been in. And it lasted three weeks. And I will openly admit that at the age of 17, when I was in that relationship, I was totally scared, because this whole dating thing was new to me, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or how to do it. We never kissed – I was too scared. Eventually, she dumped me, claiming that I “don’t know how to communicate.” I was crushed. And I’ve not dated since.

Lately, though, it seems that much interest has come about in addressing my singleness. First of all, with my sister now married, my mother is now trying to get me married, too. She may very well end up with Lysy grandchildren one day, but then she’s said to me on more than one occasion, “I want Schumin grandchildren.” That’s putting the cart a little bit in front of the horse, don’t you think? I mean, forget having children – I don’t even have a girlfriend. I also don’t have this tremendous urge to be anyone’s father at this point in time. I like not having children.

Then my mother also has said that I might have a problem with forming those kinds of relationships, and mentioning the word “sex” in there a couple of times. Yeeew! My mother said S-E-X! I’m sorry, but there are a few things that one does not want to think about. One does not want to think about one’s parents “doing it” (though it obviously did happen to produce my sister and myself), and one does not want to hear one’s parents talking about S-E-X. However, Mom may have a point about the whole relationships bit. I have met numerous women over the course of protests and what have you, but have never asked any of them out socially.

A few of my coworkers have also tried to get me in on the dating scene by encouraging me to try an online dating site. To that end, they signed me up for OkCupid, which is a free online dating service. They created the account and gave me the password, showed me how it all works, and then I later went to town on it. They really did get into helping me with it, even taking some photos of me to potentially post on there.

When I went to the site at home, however, something just felt a bit “off” about the whole thing. Political views are important to me, and I found no place where I could list political views, nor search for them. For one thing, I can’t see myself dating a Republican. I can’t see that as working out. Additionally, it felt unnatural browsing the listings of people on there. It felt too much like I was going shopping, and it almost felt like I was objectifying the people listed on the site. You get a picture and a description, which felt too much like shopping for soap. I can’t see myself finding a potential soul mate the way I buy soap.

I ended up deactivating my account on the site, but I am certainly flattered that my coworkers thought of me, and put forth the effort to help me get something of a love life going.

I also can’t see myself going out to bars and trying to meet a woman that way, either. I’m not much of a drinker, I see the prices for drinks and reel in shock, plus admittedly, I have more fun watching other people get blasted and act silly than anything else at bars.

From what I can tell, I figure that “Ms. Right” at this point is an activist who is even more left-wing than I am, and is more environmentally “green” than me. Someone who can complement my own strengths, and where we each can help further our own personal development. As of late, I’ve been using the phrase “a nice anarchist girl” to describe the kind of person I’d like to date. I admit, I still get all “awww” when I talk about a girl I met in a black bloc about five years ago, and whom I’ve seen and talked to on a few occasions since then, and whom I still have feelings for after all these years.

So yeah, affairs of the heart are certainly a complicated matter. Will I find my soul mate one day? Perhaps so. Only time will tell, I suppose…

Web site: "How to Get That Special Girl" from

Song: "The Sign" by Ace of Base. I'd actually been looking for this song for a while because I liked the tune, but never was able to get a firm hand on the lyrics to ID it until recently...

Quote: So, yeah, "greener than thou" and "lefter than thou" seem to be what I'm looking for...

Categories: Family, Myself