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September 16, 2008, 12:39 AM

Zordon, that’s who. You know, this guy:

While doing my ironing, I popped in a tape of some classic Power Rangers shows. Specifically, I was watching the last few episodes of Power Rangers Turbo, including the “Chase Into Space” story arc. The astute Power Rangers fan may recall that in “Chase Into Space”, villains Elgar and Rygog discovered the location of the Power Chamber, which led to Divatox’s sending her armies to the Power Chamber. Once there, her forces defeated the Power Rangers and blew up the Power Chamber.

That got me thinking for a second. The Power Chamber was located on the same site as the old Command Center from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers days. Back during the Alien Rangers story arc, Zordon and crew knew that the bad guys knew the location of the Command Center. After all, Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd planted a bomb outside the Command Center, which Alpha quickly disarmed. Since that failed, Rita and Zedd sent Goldar and Rito Revolto to, first, plant an implosion device underneath the Command Center, and then steal the Zeo Crystal. With this, they were successful, as the bad guys stole the Zeo Crystal and blew up the Command Center. Kaboom.

So we have firmly established that villains knew the location of the Power Rangers’ secret base of operations, i.e. the Command Center. After all, the bad guys not only found the location, but they also entered the tunnels underneath the building, and entered the main room to take the Zeo Crystal. I think Zordon was lucky that the bad guys were successful in blowing the joint up. Otherwise, he would have a lot of explaining to do to the Power Rangers, since he really bungled things up. He didn’t ensure that the Command Center was secured, and as a result, the bad guys got hold of what the Power Rangers spent the better part of five episodes putting together. Not smart. It kind of reminds me of people who get a super high-tech security system and then forget to close the door behind them when they leave. This also explains why he was always so big on, “And may the power protect you,” because we knew he sure as hell wasn’t going to protect you.

So at the beginning of Power Rangers Zeo, which followed the destruction of the Command Center, after all this has happened, the Power Ranger teens found the Zeo Crystal in the rubble, since the bad guys are dumber than Zordon, and somehow managed to drop the Zeo Crystal. Then once the Zeo Crystal got back into the good guys’ hands, things started happening, and the Command Center building rebuilt itself. Zordon indicated that the new Power Chamber was his “little surprise”. It was built on the same site as the old Command Center, and in the same building, which had magically put itself back together. Everyone was so glad to be back together again that no one realized that Zordon had bungled it again.

I mean, think about it. If your mother finds your hiding place for whatever you want to hide from her, you’re not going to put new secret stuff back in that old location, riiiiiiiiight? After all, that cover is blown, and so you’re not going to use it again. You’re going to find a new place to put your stash. This is kind of a no-brainer, don’t you think?

And wouldn’t you know it, Zordon put his stash of toys back in the same spot, and the bad guys found it again and blew it up – again. You’d think he would have at least found a different mountain outside Angel Grove to locate a new base on. Of course, who knows. Maybe land outside Angel Grove was at a premium, and it was far cheaper to rebuild on the same site as before. Or maybe he couldn’t find a real estate agent who would work with him. After all, would you take a disembodied head in a tube seriously? Thought as much.

So it seems that Zordon is a good dispatcher, buzzing the Rangers and telling them where to go and about the monsters, but he’s a terrible planner. And considering how badly he bungled things, one might start to wonder what was in that tube of his, since it obviously clouded his judgement at crucial moments. I mean, even Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa were smart enough to abandon their fortress when the Machine Empire attacked them. They fled in Serpenterra, and when they finally came back, they based their operation out of a cheap RV rather than the old Moon palace. Zordon, not so much. I’m sure that when Andros finally offed him at the end of Power Rangers in Space that the rest of them were glad to be rid of him, considering he caused more problems than he ever solved.

Of course, when it comes to Power Rangers, one also has to wonder. If they put the megazord together in every episode, why did they bother to take it all apart after every battle? Likewise for the Thunderzords, where they not only disassembled, but they turned back into the Dinozords again. Then every episode they had to go through the whole big long calling of the zords, turning them into Thunderzords, and then putting them all together. Anyone who’s seen enough second-season episodes of Power Rangers knows what I’m talking about, and is about ready to throw something at the TV by the time they finally get to “Tyrannosaurus, Red Dragon, Thunderzord power!” Likewise, in the third season, they never bothered to explain why the Ninjazords, the Shogunzords, and the Battle Borgs, which originated from three separate sources (on three separate planets, no less), all carried the same theme, resembling a wolf, a bear, a frog, a crane, and an ape. Yeah…

Web site: Photos of the building used for the Power Chamber in real life, at the bottom of this page and on this page. It's weird seeing what the building really looks like on the inside, no?

Song: "We are strong, we are tough, we're invincible..." (one of the many PR fight songs)

Quote: So, yeah, I've spent WAY too much time thinking about Power Rangers. But hey, someone had to say that Zordon was a bonehead. Might as well be me.

Categories: Power Rangers