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And for you doubters, I can sing, though how well is left to the opinion of innocent bystanders…

September 20, 2004, 1:58 AM

This is my third journal entry in the same evening! I must have a lot to talk about.

Anyway, though, in the Garden Center at work, which is rapidly going from garden stuff to Christmas stuff, there is a small display in the center of the open space. There are four mechanical dancing Santas. For the most part. One is Santa Claus himself. One is a bear in a Santa suit. One is the Grinch in a Santa suit. And the last one is a snowman. These things are about a head shorter than me, and swing their hips, move their arms, turn their heads, and the Santa and the snowman move their mouths. They sing canned songs, but then they also have a jack for a microphone on them, where you can sing into the mic, which causes the heads to turn and the mouth to move.

After clocking out at work, I headed over to the Garden Center to check it out, and discovered the display, and noticed that it was plugged in, and a microphone was sitting there.

See where this is going?

Yeah. I seized the microphone, plugged it into the Grinch, and proceeded to sing some verses of the “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” song. That fell apart when it became obvious that I didn’t know all the words to the verses beyond the first one. Just bits and pieces. I had the first verse down cold.

So I moved down the line. Next one was the bear. I was trying to think of a good Christmas-ey song that had to do with bears. I couldn’t think of a good bear song that went with Christmas. But I did know a song about Goldilocks And The Three Bears, as in the classic story.

So what do I sing? What else?

I’m Papa Bear!
He’s Papa Bear!
My name is Papa Bear!
His name is Papa Bear!
And I live here in this forest house, with Mama Bear and Baby Bear!

It goes on, but you get the point. Things got a little awkward when I got to Goldilocks’s part, and I sang that whole bit in falsetto.

A coworker begged me to stop just as I was getting to the good part. That would be where the music changes, and Baby Bear says:

Look, what do you see, an empty bowl-a!
My porridge is not where my porridge ought to beeeeeeeeeee!

Still, I had fun. And it helps when my coworkers are people I’m comfortable around, and since it was a bit slow in the Garden Center, not too many random people saw me. Plus I have no shame when it comes to these things, and so it’s loads of fun.

Now if I do it again, I’m going to have to think of some songs to sing with the Santa and the snowman. I’m sure I’ll come up with something.

Web site: A page about a person who cut up one of those dancing Santas we sell at Wal-Mart to make something Halloweenish.

Song: The Three Bears opera that I sang most of, of course, from, as you probably guessed, Today's Special.

Quote: "So what did you think of my singing?"

Categories: Today's Special, Walmart