“I’d like to know if you all sell vibrators, but not the sexual kind.”

2 minute read

April 15, 2004, 1:00 AM

A customer actually did ask one of our associates that one time (not to me). But that’s besides the point.

You see, I have found a non-sexual vibrator. Let me tell you about my experience with my cell phone today. I went to DC as planned. I was planning to meet up with Dad midway through the day, since he was coming up to DC as well. Well, I was concerned with being able to hear my ringtone (which is Sakura Saku from Love Hina, a Japanese anime cartoon) on the Metro, with all the other background noise from trains and people and such. So I set it to ring and vibrate.

Now I keep my cell phone in my right front pocket when I’m out and about. So there I am railfanning on a Rohr train, on the Blue Line between Pentagon City and Pentagon. Next thing you know, I feel this fierce vibration on my leg, and Sakura Saku starts playing. Let me tell you, I nearly SCREAMED when that thing started vibrating on me. That’s definitely one way to wake up a 28-year-old rail car. I’m sure the other passengers would have really appreciated it if I’d let loose with a scream. As it is, I jumped up from my railfan seat when that thing went off on my leg.

Needless to say, I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever put my phone on vibrate again.

Another thing – I officially have what I would describe as “Metro fatigue”. My ears are sore from the constant changes in air pressure that come from quickly going from surface stations, to shallow underground stations to deep stations and back. Have mercy on my eustachian tubes, as they were working overtime today, trying to equalize the air pressure in my head with the air pressure in the tunnels. So all that is sore from that. And it’s because the train moves so rapidly between all the different depths. I have no problems when I enter Rosslyn station (deepest station on the Blue Line) by the elevator or the escalator. That’s a slow descent. Then there’s the train. Going from Arlington Cemetery, which is an above-ground station, directly into Rosslyn, which is really deep, at a pretty good speed, contributes to sore ears. And add to that with meeting Dad midway through the day, I crossed through Rosslyn and up and down and such quite a few times.

But it’s worth it in the end, since I so love railfanning, and I can tolerate it.

Meanwhile, I stopped in this place called “The Bikini Store” in northwest DC just for fun, and the help told me something scary. They said that little old men are the ones who buy the thongs, in order to woo the younger women. Major “yecch” factor there. Otherwise, though, nice store, with nice merchandise, though a tad on the expensive side. They do have nice “jammer” shorts for men in my size, though.

So there you go. I had a good day, all in all.

Web site: A page from about Rosslyn, deepest Blue Line station.

Song: The sound of rehabbed Breda trains, which I got to ride today during the evening rush hour.

Quote: "I'm sure the other people on the train would have really appreciated it if I'd screamed..."