“Ben: The anti-ape drugs don’t work.”

"Back" magazine“It’s difficult to know what to say after checking out Ben’s site. It kind of leaves you speechless. Well, that’s after you’ve spent an hour or so laughing your arse off, of course. Does Ben really believe that anyone would be so interested in his life that they’d wade through page-after-page of drivel about the last time he took a dump? Not that he tells us about his trips to the bathroom, because that would be far too interesting-but it’s about the only part of his life he doesn’t go into on the site. Pretty-much everything else is covered in quite amazing detail. It’s just what all you Ben fans out there have been waiting for! And if you do have any questions that he hasn’t managed to cover here on the site, there’s plenty of contact information, so you’ll be able to ask him directly. Ben, the Geek Prize of roll-on deodorant is already in the post mate – enjoy!”

Front magazine. June 2000. Geek of the Month. The actual quote came from a photo caption going with this picture from my “About Me” page. Needless to say, this created quite a stir with some of Front’s less-tactful readers, causing me to receive a stream of hate mail, with readers calling me a “wanker”, among other things which we won’t repeat here. Needless to say, there were some shocked looks at the then-new Web Cam… I am better than to reply to such “wankers” as these folks, though. The picture you see with this quote is a complete and utter parody, done by me, of the “Davinia” issue, which I am featured in. You can see what the real cover looks like here. Pretty good parody, eh?  The picture of me that you see was taken by a friend of mine, and the rest of it, including the flag, the title, and the text, was done by me.

Date posted: November 12, 2000