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Why does everyone ask me about their public speaking performance?

December 2, 2003, 8:49 PM

After my international relations class today, where two groups did a presentation about different books, a number of people asked me how they did on their presentation as far as performance.

Why me?

Well, I presume that they respect me enough to value my opinion, which is nice to know, but here’s why I found it strange that they asked me. I was the only person in the class who thought ahead and weaseled out of having to speak in front of the class.

I did, however, spearhead the whole PowerPoint presentation for the group. It worked out for us, though, since I commute to JMU from out of town, and thus group meetings would have been very hard to pull off.

Still, the people who asked me did a good job, and that’s what I told them. But nonetheless, it was odd that they asked me of all people, the one who weaseled out of a public speaking appearance…

Categories: JMU

Sometimes I just amuse myself…

November 18, 2003, 11:32 AM

I had my CARR (Case Analysis Research Report) presentation today in PUAD 420. And since all the projects in that class are individual, I’ve been known to embellish my projects somewhat to make them amusing for myself. And I know I’ve mentioned it here before, but my CARR was about the fictional transit agency called the Carinthia Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, otherwise known as CMATA, which is loosely based on the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, otherwise known as WMATA, or Metro.

So I did my presentation, and spent hours preparing it. And thus the amusing parts come in. All the characters were named for Metro stations. I had a guy named Farragut West as the chairman of the board, a guy named Dan Loring (after Dunn Loring/Merrifield station) as the general manager, Woodley Park (after Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan station) as the financial manager, Forrest Glen as the CASHRail Manager (CASH stands for Carinthia Accesses Surrounding ‘Hoods, by the way), Amanda McPherson (after McPherson Square station) as the CASHBus Manager, and the maintenance supervisor was a woman named Franconia Springfield. I also had customers named Addison Rhodes (Addison Road), Naylor Rhone (Naylor Road), Anacostia Rivera (Anacostia), and Ford Totten (Fort Totten).

But where I really amuse myself is with some of the visuals. I introduced what the fundamental problem in the case was (which was capital planning) via two pictures. Here they are:

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Categories: JMU, WMATA

“Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.”

November 13, 2003, 12:22 PM

Johnny Carson once said, “Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.”

Thus today on the way to JMU and then on the way to and from classes, in the wind. And goodness, what a bunch of wind we’re getting, too. Supposedly, it’s supposed to get up to almost 50 today. With this wind, it feels like winter coming to visit with a vengeance. And let’s not forget my car, which is a tall, large vehicle. (Recall that it’s a Toyota Previa) Blown around like a leaf on the freeway.

Now a driver seeing me get blown all over Interstate 81 could say, “I am lacking a conception of what the operator of the conveyance ahead of me is attempting to accomplish.” Big words. Compare, though…

This is what we say when we use the little filthy ones instead: “D—! What in the f— does this a—— f—ing think he’s doing?” That gets the point across just as well.

Categories: Driving, JMU

Who’s worse? Your run-of-the-mill spammers, or JMU?

November 6, 2003, 1:15 PM

It’s a toss-up. JMU likes to spam its students on a regular basis. Sure, it’s not anything like the run-of-the-mill spammers who want to get me a mortgage, a supercharged sex life, stocks and more stocks, and porn out the wazoo, but JMU is really getting on my nerves with their school-wide Emails, which really should only be reserved for emergencies. Look at this one:

Now is the time to grab some great deals for the holiday.
Support JMU’s Adult Degree Program’s online auction. Go to
http://www.bisauction.com now! Get registered and then have
fun bidding on some fabulous items like a 2 night stay in
Williamsburg, some great JMU items including a JMU Gumball
Machine, and a cute puppy dog. The auction will continue
through November 21. For more information, e-mail adult-
degree-program@jmu.edu.

There you go. Unsolicited commercial Email from JMU. Let’s say it together: SPAM! The subject even started with the word “Adult”. It’s now really now a case of the pot calling the kettle black, because JMU’s IT department on one hand has all kinds of weird spam filters that eat all kinds of legitimate Email, and then on the other hand facilitates almost any JMU department or organization’s sending its own spam out…

Categories: Internet, JMU

And the story comes back from my first college party…

November 1, 2003, 5:04 PM

Well, I went out with a number of former Potomac-ers, like Patrick, Chris, Jackson, Jason, Will, and Adam, as well as several others. You’ll of course recognize the people from College Life. Since it was Halloween, I wore the scariest thing I owned, which is how I describe my “I Bleed Schumin” shirt. Patrick went as a crocodile (in an inflatable costume no less!), Jackson went as a lifeguard, Chris as a pirate, Jason was… something else (hard to describe), plus we had a hula dancer, road signs, a cop, Billy Joel, and much more.

I think all in all I had like five beers, maybe four or five shots of vodka, plus a trip with the “ice luge”, which is basically where you put your face on the end of a groove in a big block of ice, and people pour alcohol down the groove into your mouth.

Needless to say, I was blasted. Totally smashed. However, I was a happy drunk, getting very friendly, even as I was kind of running into one wall after another and leaning on everyone and everything. I would dare say I was hanging on everyone at least once through the course of the evening. Still, I felt so light on my feet! My legs felt like rubber as I tried to maintain my balance. My face also felt like rubber, which was an interesting feeling. But yes, I was very drunk.

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Categories: JMU

I’m going to my first college party tonight!

October 31, 2003, 6:19 PM

Yes, it’s halloween, and I’m going to my first ever college party. Oh, I feel like such a freshman, but unlike the freshies, I’m legal to drink.

I feel like such a nerd… I’m 22 years old, and a fifth-year senior, and only now am I going to my first party.

Categories: JMU

Wilson Hall is starting to look like a campground!

October 30, 2003, 8:36 PM

The night before Halloween, there’s bunches of people camped out in Wilson Hall waiting to sign up for Alternative Spring Break trips. From what I understand, there are limited spaces on these trips, and so if you want the one you want, you really have to get there early and then camp out to hold your spot.

Alternative Spring Break trips, for those of you who don’t know, are basically community service trips to different areas both in the United States and in other countries. And it has quite a history of high involvement at JMU.

I did something similar quite recently – an alternative fall break trip to Pittsburgh about two weeks ago, where we worked at a soup kitchen, a drop in center, and Sojourner House.

However, the camping is where I draw the line. With the LPCM alternative fall break trip, we took as many as wanted to go. All I had to do was fill out the proper paperwork, which took five minutes. But there is no way in HELL that I’m camping on the floor of Wilson Hall, no matter how noble the cause. There’s just something about a cold, hard concrete floor that doesn’t go over well with me.

All in all, I commend them for their dedication to service, but I’ll pass on the floor, thank you.

Categories: JMU

Guys want to support breast cancer awareness, too, but not all of us are secure enough in our masculinity to wear the shirts…

October 30, 2003, 6:56 PM

Look at this picture, an LPCM file photo that I took way back in fall 2002:

LPCM dinner

The girl on the left is my friend Laura from LPCM. She is wearing the pink “MADISON” shirts that a group on campus is selling in regards to raising money to fight breast cancer. Now I’m all for supporting medical research. Anything that gets people to the next birthday is great by any means. I just think that pink alone is limiting their market just a little bit.

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Categories: JMU, LPCM

I managed to get it right – my number is nonpublished!

October 23, 2003, 10:33 PM

Well… kind of. I did manage to get away with having no phone number listed in the JMU phone directory, which I did intentionally. However, I still do have an entry in the phone book and my address is listed, but I doubt many JMU students will actually drive out to Stuarts Draft to go visit me. Besides, it’s more interesting to send me to them, since it’s a way to get out of the house.

A “real” nonpublished listing, by the way, would not appear in the phone book at all, and would show up as “NONPUB” in a directory assistance service.

Still, I am quite pleased with myself, since I’d had problems with prank calls in the past. And with dorm numbers, you have one choice: published. So I’d get drunks calling me on Friday nights trying to get some entertainment. Now, I can work in peace on Friday nights, and not have to worry about getting a phone call, because JMU doesn’t have it.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering what my obsession is with having a nonpublished number, it’s several reasons. First of all, the whole thing with the drunks, plus after working for CFW/nTelos/Telegate for almost five years, I’ve seen the whole non-published listing thing, and how well it works. And lastly, speaking of my former employer, after almost five years of working in a phone job, what makes you think I particularly want to spend more time on the phone?

Categories: JMU

“Student of the Month” eh? Glad I’m ineligible for that…

October 23, 2003, 5:28 PM

As announced in the October 23 edition of The Breeze, the Student Government Association at JMU will now be picking a “Student of the Month” from nominations by students, organizations, faculty/staff, administrators, or themselves (the last one which we call “shameless self promotion”).

The requirements to be the Student of the Month are to have at least a 2.0 GPA, be a full-time student, be in good standing, and that only the past 90 days can be considered.

The winner gets a $50 gift certificate to the JMU Bookstore, lunch or dinner with Linwood Rose (JMU President), and a formal resolution of recognition from the SGA Senate.

I am ineligible for the Student of the Month program due to my being somewhat less than full-time this semester (I’m taking six hours, and you need twelve to be considered full-time). Just as well, though. People are always surprised to hear this, but I absolutely HATE public recognition. I despise it. It means very little to me to be recognized publicly in front of a bunch of people. In fact, I can’t stand public recognition and award ceremonies so much that I would deliberately miss recognition functions (and they would have to track me down later to give me the award), and I absolutely refuse to attend my own college graduation at JMU. Seriously. I simply want to receive my degree in the mail and then quietly fade from the JMU scene. Seriously.

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Categories: JMU

What part of “crosswalk” do you not understand?

October 9, 2003, 12:33 PM

The joys of driving through campus in the middle of the day… JMU students walking, JMU students running, JMU students mingling… all just fine by me. Then we have the problem:

JMU students crossing the street.

First of all, they’re totally obnoxious when they have the stop signs, and thus the right of way. You can find yourself sitting at these random stop signs throughout campus for minutes on end while everyone crosses the street. You really have to duck and dodge to get through, let me tell you, all the while trying not to run someone over.

Then there’s the painted crosswalks without stop signs or traffic lights. Crosswalk means we know to expect pedestrian traffic through that area. That still doesn’t mean that you can dart out in front of cars. And the pedestians think we have to stop for these things. I overheard one girl on the sidewalk say, “Thank you for stopping!” as I drove past without stopping. I’m sorry, but if there is no stop sign or traffic light, I don’t have to stop unless it would be unsafe to keep going (i.e. if some idiot is in the street already).

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Categories: Driving, JMU

And the worst place to be when the fire alarm goes off is…

September 30, 2003, 7:01 PM

I forgot to tell you this in the newsletter!

I say one of the worst places to be is right below a horn, which happened to me last Thursday in Keezell Hall (someone accidentally burned their lunch).

There’s a discussion about this going on in the forums. Interesting stuff. Still can’t believe I forgot to mention it in the newsletter, despite the subject line…

Categories: Fire alarms, JMU

They say a sucker is born every minute…

September 30, 2003, 12:03 PM

PT Barnum once said that there’s a sucker born every minute. I wonder how many people are going to be a sucker on this one. This is a classified ad that I found in The Breeze‘s classified ads in their September 29, 2003 issue. And I quote…

Looking For a Friend? I will hang out with you for $10 an hour. Call Mike, 438-XXXX (number withheld for obvious reasons)

I have half a mind to call this “Mike” fellow up. I should call him up only to find out if someone was desperate enough to actually want to pay someone $10 an hour for companionship.

I hope no one’s desperate enough to actually reply to this ad, and I definitely hope no one actually PAYS for this…

Categories: JMU

You want to talk about a strange dream…

September 22, 2003, 11:29 PM

Yeah, this is a weird one that I had last night.

Picture it, if you will. I’m in Harrisonburg, in Potomac Hall, in the pavilion room, with the 2002-2003 hall staff (which I was a part of), plus Mandee, the new hall director. In this little meeting, we’re telling Mandee all of the evils of working with Mecca, the hall director that we had to deal with (more like suffer through). Well, later in the dream, I get a phone call on my cell phone, which is rather strange, because (A) I don’t keep it on, and (B) I don’t give out the number for my cell phone. So who was the person on the other end? It was Mecca! How interesting. Mecca says, “Benjamin, why am I calling you? Why were you in there talking about me?” I got to finally put Mecca in her place over the cell. It felt good. The basic gist of it was well, what are you going to do about it? I don’t work for Residence Life anymore! I’d like to see you try! Boy, that felt good. That felt VERY good.

And just a clear reminder to the thought police (pardon, Office of Residence Life), this was indeed a dream. And a darn amusing one at that, too.

Categories: Dreams, JMU

Important skill of managing one’s self on a high-traffic section of a college campus: watch where you’re going

September 9, 2003, 1:06 PM

Okay… I’m a klutz. I stop, say hello to one person, and smash into another person. Really great coordination. Thankfully, I’m skilled in the fine art of “excuse me”, “oh, I’m sorry”, and “pardon me”. Still, even better would be to simply not run into them in the first place…

Categories: JMU