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I never thought I’d be cheering a tropical system, but…

June 3, 2007, 3:55 PM

I never thought I’d be cheering a tropical storm system, but Tropical Storm Barry is working out for me. It’s giving the area a much-needed soaking, plus, for me, it cleared the air for those of us who suffer from springtime allergies. These last few days have been rough for me. I was running some work-related errands around Dupont Circle on Thursday, and my eyes got all swelled up. It was not fun, needless to say. This clears out all that junk from the air, and makes it much more pleasant for springtime allergy sufferers like me. I’m just glad that we’re now in the final month of allergy season, because once it’s past, life will be normal again for about ten months.

Meanwhile, yesterday, I went out to find the local Wal-Mart to see where it was, and to do a little shopping. I found it, and it’s in Germantown, store #2357. And it’s not likely I’ll be going back any time soon. It’s also stores like this that help explain why the DC area has generally shunned Wal-Mart. I was not impressed with this store. Let’s just say this: It makes the Wal-Mart where I used to work at in Waynesboro look like an upscale department store.

First of all, the place was dirty. The floors were gross, and there was trash everywhere. Additionally, the shelves were a mess. I don’t think that these people had ever heard of the concept of “zone defense”, which, in Wal-Mart terminology, is where associates basically get their departments in order – straightening the shelves, cleaning up debris, etc. This store looked like it hadn’t been zoned in weeks. The shoe department was especially a disaster – all the flip-flops were just thrown in there, and a lot were just sitting scattered on the floor. Then let’s talk safety, which is a place where Wal-Mart puts a big emphasis (or at least is supposed to). I stepped on a piece of loose cardboard in their main action alley, and nearly went flying. That’s not my idea of a good time. Meanwhile, the associates, where I actually could find some, were kind of rude.

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I am moving to Washington DC!

April 18, 2007, 6:30 PM

I am happy to announce that my days at Wal-Mart are over, as I have finally found a job in Washington DC! I will be working for Food & Water Watch in Northwest DC. Needless to say, I am excited.

I would like to thank the following people for their roles in helping me get there… first of all, thank you to my family for putting me through college, and to the student advising people at JMU for getting me out of the College of Business and into the Public Administration program. Thank you to all of my friends in Augusta County, etc. for their encouragement and support whenever I started feeling discouraged. Thank you to all of my friends in the DC area who also lent me encouragement and support in my quest to find gainful employment up in DC.

And in an odd twist of things, I’d like to thank Dorinda Wilson-Bowers and Lee Pinheiro at Wal-Mart… for firing me. Yes, I got fired from Wal-Mart on March 31 for what I consider specious reasons, which we won’t go into here. However, since Wal-Mart had become a very hostile and unpleasant place to be in my last month or so there, after the initial shock of getting fired (I’d never been fired before!), it was a great relief to be fired, because it meant that I no longer had to deal with this situation that was making my life a living hell, and where I used to dread coming into work every day. However, from the moment that they said to me, “You’re fired,” I made it my job to find a new job. And as you can see, I found one, and as it turns out, getting fired was the best thing to ever happen to me.

And throughout the time I was looking for a new job, I’d especially like to thank my friend Katie Shapiro, who really helped me through the day I got fired, and constantly kept me going like a true friend.

And to all of you that I’m leaving behind in Stuarts Draft, Staunton, Waynesboro, Harrisonburg, etc., thanks for the memories.

And we survived the peanut butter scare of aught-seven…

February 17, 2007, 1:40 AM

Jar of Peter Pan peanut butter from the affected lot (Image: Deglr6328/Wikimedia Commons)For the last two days, I think I’ve looked at enough jars of peanut butter to last me a while. People normally don’t return food unless it’s really bad, like if they opened the package and it was green and fuzzy inside when it should be red and slimy. But when the public learned that the Peter Pan and Great Value brands of peanut butter are potentially contaminated with salmonella and the manufacturer (ConAgra) issues a voluntary recall of the product, everyone and their mother came up to the Service Desk with a jar of peanut butter looking for a refund. So far, we’ve taken back two full cartloads of the stuff.

And let me tell you something. Peanut butter may look light, but when you’re pushing an entire cartload of the stuff, it’s HEAVY. I can usually drive two carts through the store with relative ease. I put the heavier one to the rear and drag it, and I put the lighter one in front and steer with my hand and my elbow. But a cart full of recalled peanut butter is something I could barely handle by itself. Usually, to steer a shopping cart, you turn it by the handle in order to point the front end of the cart in the direction you want to go. Not for this. For this kind of a load, forget trying to steer that way. I had to swing the back end of the cart around to point it where I wanted to go, and then kind of beg the cart to continue in the direction I pointed it in. Add to that the fact that I was a bit tired as I’m pushing a whole cartload of peanut butter to the back room, and it made for an interesting walk.

Personally, I can’t wait for this whole peanut butter recall to blow over. First of all, I don’t like pushing heavy carts full of unsellable peanut butter to the back of the store. I don’t like doing it. And secondly, Peter Pan is my preferred brand of peanut butter, even though I only buy it every so often. It competes for my affections with Ragu tomato sauce, and presently, the Ragu is winning.

Still, you have to find it at least somewhat interesting when food goes bad, or is suspected of possibly going bad. Remember the big spinach scare of 2006? That was interesting news, though I don’t remember people coming in droves to return their bagged spinach. I remember only one person coming to return his bagged spinach for a refund.

Categories: Food and drink, Walmart

“…I pack ’em and I wrap ’em, and stick on a bow or two!”

December 24, 2006, 8:14 PM

Well, maybe “eventually” needs to be inserted in there somewhere. I bought all the presents weeks ago, and I haven’t wrapped any of them. They’re all still in the various shopping bags, and now it’s Christmas Eve. I have the wrapping paper and the tape, but now I’m procrastinating, trying to put off the inevitable – having to wrap the stuff, even though the paper will all fly off in twelve hours.

Meanwhile, I came up with the best term ever for last-minute shoppers: I call them “the ‘oh, s—‘ crowd”. The ones that say, “Oh, $&%#, I forgot to buy Aunt Bertha a gift!” and then run to Wal-Mart.

And we’ll be opening presents at 9 AM tomorrow morning. I want to sleep in. I said, “Will the presents still be there at noon? Then let’s open them then.” I want to sleep in on Christmas, and open presents later on. I don’t consider this to be that difficult of a concept. But the family wants to open gifts at 9 AM. And with it being three-to-one on that, I lose. Still, I’d prefer sweet sleep.

And lastly, one wonders if Santa’s ditched the sleigh and reindeer for something more modern:

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Categories: Christmas, Walmart

The lengths people will go to for video games…

November 17, 2006, 11:00 AM

Sometimes I can’t get over what people will do in order to be the first to get something. Check this out:

Camping in Layaway for the PlayStation 3

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Categories: Some people, Walmart

You know what they say…

October 2, 2006, 8:54 AM

You know what they say… what’s worse than being seasick once? Being seasick twice, of course!

Okay, I just wanted to throw that one out there.

Meanwhile, I’ve misread my schedule at work a few times over nearly three years with Wal-Mart, but this one was particularly amusing. Today, I showed up for work four hours early. I showed up at 7:00 AM – sharp – and I didn’t have to be there until 11. That one was almost as bad as the time when I thought I was off Wednesday and Thursday of a particular week, rather than off Tuesday and Wednesday of that week. I showed up at 7:00 AM – sharp – and had my vest on and everything, went to clock in, and the timeclock kicked me out, since I wasn’t scheduled. Turned out that they needed an extra person on Tuesday, so they were able to accommodate my mistake, thank goodness.

Today, the question soon turned to what to do for four hours. I think I spent the time wisely. I went to Shoney’s, had a nice breakfast, and read The Washington Post. The Post is always a good read, when I have the time. I can polish off the Staunton News Leader in fifteen minutes on a slow news day. Then another ten minutes and I can knock out the Waynesboro News-Virginian. A slow news day with The Washington Post will take at least an hour.

And now, here I am, writing to you from the Augusta County Library, which is between Shoney’s in Staunton (I won’t go to the one in Waynesboro) and work.

So there you go.

Categories: Walmart

Firefighter Schumin is on his way!

July 26, 2006, 9:09 PM

Wasn’t today an exciting day at work!

Not long after my first break, one of our cart pushers reported that there was a mulch fire in the parking lot. One of our CSMs, knowing I’m on the safety team, came up to the service desk and got me, and handed me a fire extinguisher. I quickly found out what was going on as we were walking out to the parking lot to the fire. I ended up ripping off the tag and pulling out the pin on the way out the door.

We got to the mulch that was on fire in the parking lot. It was on a traffic island about a third of the way down the lot. After chasing off some very stupid teenagers who were trying to put it out by stomping it out in their flip flops (very dumb teenagers), I went to work. Since I had already pulled the pin, I went about it as I’d seen in the past, staying low, aiming for the base of the fire, and sweeping side to side. And I got the fire out, too. It seems that what I’d learned had sunken in fairly well, as I’d performed flawlessly despite having never actually used a fire extinguisher before.

I used up the entire extinguisher on it, just to be on the safe side. It’s just as well, too, since you can’t reuse a fire extinguisher that’s been discharged until it’s professionally recharged. But like I said, I got the fire out.

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Categories: Today's Special, Walmart

College shirt weekend at work led to an amusing photo in the end…

July 23, 2006, 1:47 AM

Yes, it was college shirt weekend at our store this weekend, and so I made sure to represent JMU.

But what’s funny is the shirt that I chose. I went hunting through my closet to find a JMU shirt. I was really looking for a “JMU Alumni” shirt that Mom got me, since that’s what I really wanted to wear. I ended up not finding that, and the only thing I found that was suitable for late July ended up being my old Office of Residence Life “purple shirt”. That would be this shirt, seen here back in the day. So I wore that under my vest. And purple and maroon certainly do look good together. Judge for yourself:

Wearing the Residence Life "purple shirt" with my Wal-Mart vest

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Categories: JMU, Walmart

Wait a second… where am I?

July 18, 2006, 12:43 AM

I made what I consider a real doozie on the PA tonight. Like at most 24-hour Wal-Marts, parts of the store, like the Service Desk, close overnight. So I made the closing announcement for the Service Desk. Usually, it goes like this:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Service Desk is now closed, and will reopen at 7 AM. If you wish to make a return before that time, you may do so at any open register. (Repeat once)

As always, we thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart, and have a safe and pleasant evening.

This time, the announcement went like this:

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Categories: Walmart

I feel very dressed-down today…

July 14, 2006, 11:22 PM

At work, every Friday is blue jean day. Pay a dollar to Children’s Miracle Network, and wear blue jeans that day. For the past two years, I have shunned blue jean day every single Friday. I’d never worn blue jeans to work, and saved my dollar each week. I did this primarily because I didn’t have any blue jeans that fit right.

However, now that I’ve lost some weight (the same weight loss that lead to the April 26 wardrobe malfunction), I gave an old pair of blue jeans a try. Much to my surprise, they fit, and fit quite well. This pair of jeans was one that was in good condition from a long time ago. I bought these jeans on August 19, 1999, on a trip to Pentagon City and Potomac Mills with my friend Andrea Fox. I was 18. This was the week before I’d started my freshman year of college. In other words, this was clothing bought before the so-called “freshman 15” came on. So I am doing quite well, thank you. And I have room to maneuver in these pants, too. So I am just awesome.

So where were we going with this? Oh, yes.

So I wore the jeans. Add my tie-dye shirt to that mix, which is a few different shades of blue. Then add to that a pair of backless Faded Glory sandals with tan leather straps. And no socks. All in all, I felt rather dressed down today at work.

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Categories: Clothing, Shoes, Walmart

“I don’t look at porn!”

June 18, 2006, 2:35 AM

Funny what comes up in the breakroom sometimes…

A few of us were discussing churchgoers and possible hypocrisy regarding them, and the idea came up that a particular coworker, about whom customers had said “looked like Jesus” when he had a certain hairdo coupled with a beard, should start his own church. Someone suggested that he would make one related to porn, which elicited the response, “I don’t look at porn!”

What made us all turn our heads was when another coworker, who was just passing through the breakroom to get to the smoking room and caught wind of our discussion, said, “I do!”

The thought that crossed most of our minds was, I did not need to know that. Seriously, we did not need to know that. I don’t think I’ll be able to look at this coworker with a straight face for a while. Of course, people didn’t look at me with a straight face for a while after the pants incident from a couple of months ago.

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Memorial Day weekend…

May 28, 2006, 11:07 PM

One thing you just have to love is Memorial Day weekend. People come in and buy hamburgers, hot dogs, buns, and beer. And some people are nice to their dedicated Wal-Mart cashiers who have to work the entire holiday weekend, while they’re eating and boozing it up. And then some people are crabby. The crabby ones are the ones you just want to strangle, because they make an unpleasant weekend even worse. Add to that the fact that I have a crummy schedule for the next three bloody weeks, and it’s just not fun. I have NO early mornings all three of these weeks. The earliest I come in is 9 AM. My usual schedule is coming in at seven, and out by four.

Otherwise, my birthday is this Tuesday. This year, I’m taking it kind of nonchalantly. No huge celebrations, but then again, I’m not rebelling against it this year like I did in 2005, where I wanted nothing to do with it at all. The only celebrating that I want is to go to dinner, and I haven’t even picked the restaurant yet.

I do know one thing, though – it’s not going to be T-Bone Jacks in Waynesboro. There was a fire there in the wee hours of Saturday morning, which basically gutted the place, and caused the roof to collapse in one place. They say it’s not arson, according to news reports. They say it started as an electrical fire in a back office. Most you can see from Lew Dewitt Boulevard is yellow caution tape all around the building and lots of smoke damage. Smoke seems to have come out of every possible opening based on the marks on the building. It even came out in between the individual sections of wood on the side. I figure when you consider the damage to the building, they’ll probably demolish the building and rebuild at the same location. I just hope they had insurance.

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Always wear underwear

April 27, 2006, 9:26 AM

After what happened to me yesterday, I’d like to remind everyone – ALWAYS wear underwear.

With that said, here’s what happened…

I was at work, and running a register. Realizing that the previous customer had accidentally left a bag on the wheel, I went after them to give them their missing bag. In pursuing them, my pants accidentally fell down, right there in front of everyone. My first reaction was to quickly pull my pants back up. And I still caught the customer before they left and got them their bag.

Still, my coworkers saw it. The rest of the day, I heard a number of good-natured comments about a pair of suspenders being a good investment. And 183,000 square feet is not as big as it sounds, as all of my coworkers soon learned of the incident.

And why did it happen in the first place? Well… as I mentioned in a previous Journal entry, I seem to be losing weight. And so my clothes have been a wee bit more loose as of late. And the cheapskate in me has decided not to go out and get replacement clothes. I’ll replace when they wear out, but not before that. So what’s the fix? A new belt, which I’m going to get today. That ought to prevent this episode from reoccurring.

And you know what this whole “wardrobe malfunction” reminds me of? Yolanda Bowsley from The Price is Right, who lost her tube top while going down to contestants’ row.

Still, now you understand why it’s always important to wear underwear. You never know when it might accidentally be revealed.

Categories: Walmart

The Easter Bunny and I were waiting for a bus together…

April 15, 2006, 7:01 PM

First of all, check it out:

The Easter Bunny and Ben Schumin

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Categories: Holidays, Walmart

I got called “babe” today, by a man, in front of his wife!

March 26, 2006, 8:53 PM

Of all the stupid things people can say, the thing that a man in my line said today definitely took the cake.

First of all, for those of you who have seen pictures of me (and if you’re here at my site, it’s pretty hard not to), you can tell I’m obviously male.

Yet this man, after I handed him his change and his receipt, said, “Thanks, babe.”

I paused, so as to take a moment to digest this comment, which I was not expecting. Then I said, “Did you just call me ‘babe’?” He explained it away by saying that he was thinking about the cashier before me on that register (we’d just switched out just before I started ringing him up). Still, I wonder if he wanted a little salt with that foot, considering he said that right in front of his wife, of all people.

That just took the cake, let me tell you.

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Categories: Some people, Walmart, Wikipedia