This proves that I can sing…

March 23, 2004, 11:52 PM

It was an associate’s birthday, and so I got to sing Happy Birthday over the loudspeaker for them, at the urging of one of our CSMs. So my rendition of “Happy Birthday” was the talk of the store today. So that was fun.

Otherwise, I had a little shopping disappointment after work. My order from Casual Male was waiting there on the porch for me. That was exciting. So then I took them in and opened them up. Now I wasn’t sure what “French Terry” meant exactly when I ordered the “French Terry Cargo Pants”, but I expected more along the lines of what you would think of as cargo pants. These were more like sweatpants. They were too much like sweatpants to use at work. So I never even took those out of their little bags.

I also got some Dockers corduroy pants. Those fit the program as far as appearance, but failed in the fit, being too small in the lower leg (that’s a new one – usually it’s quite loose around my calves, and I’m worrying about waist and thighs). So I neatly folded the pants back up and put them back in their little bag. How disappointing.

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“Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”

March 23, 2004, 11:22 AM

I remember that phrase from the commercials in the 1990s. You have someone asking some totally random person at a random location, “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?” It just strikes me as amusing.

I mean really, who is going to just randomly be carrying a bottle of Grey Poupon with them?

I usually mention that when I get the Dijon Mustard dipping sauce for the chicken at work. I say, “This is the kind of thing you just want to say, ‘Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?’ for.” And I’ve never even had Grey Poupon before, either. One of those things I need to do one of these days, I guess.

Especially if I’m going to say it, I might as well have at least eaten it, eh?

Categories: Television, Walmart

And if there was anyone who thought it was otherwise, let me restate it. I am not a cowboy.

March 19, 2004, 4:15 PM

Nope. No cowboy blood in me. No wild west spirit yearning to break loose within me.

And how do I know this?

Well, I decided, since I had a long lunch break, to ride the mechanical horse in the game room. It’s one of those things I’ve kind of wanted to do for a while, and so I seized the opportunity and did it. So I got on, fed the horse my quarters, and then went out to the wild west. I should have bought a hat in softlines first, and then gone riding. But no. Still, I was having a blast, really hamming it up pretending to swing a lasso and saying, “Hi-yo, Silver!”

Let’s put it this way: The Lone Ranger I am not. End of story, but it was fun, and funny.

Categories: Walmart

What a surprise to find as I was leaving for work…

March 17, 2004, 9:39 PM

Look at this:

Pink flamingoes on the neighbors' yard

This is our neighbors’ front yard. And it is covered with pink flamingoes. Yes, pink flamingoes. From what I understand, it has something to do with a church program, but I’m not sure what it is. Still, I was amused, and snapped a picture of it with my cell phone. I’ll take some higher-resolution ones with Big Mavica tomorrow before I go to work.

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Categories: Amusing, Television, Walmart

“You retard!”

March 12, 2004, 2:14 AM

Yes, when I came back up to the Service Desk after my lunch break, before I could even say hello to anyone, I’m greeted with a familiar voice saying, “You retard!”

It was Sis.

And returning a printer cartridge that I bought two weeks ago. Seems I bought the wrong one. I just followed the list that Dad gave me. So it’s not my fault.

Still, it was amusing to see Sis and her friends (Matt and Ben, both of whom I also like) at the Service Desk as I came back. And amusing is what my coworker asked of Sis: “Is he as hyper at home as he is at work?” She answered, “Worse!” All in all, I was amused. Plus I got to find out about their trip to New York, which I couldn’t partake in due to work.

Plus this was the first time Sis got to see me in my vest, since the last time she was at our store while I was working, I was on lunch and carrying it in my hand as I was ringing up my food on the self-checkout.

Still, amusing.

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Categories: DC trips, Family, Walmart, WMATA

Today I got majorly confuzzelated.

March 7, 2004, 1:45 AM

Call it confused, confuzzled, or confuzzelated, but let me tell you… I was going in so many different directions today I probably couldn’t have told you which way was up.

New experience of the day: I got to spend an hour out in the parking lot doing carts. We have a machine that pushes, and is controlled remotely by the associate. Then the associate stands in front and steers. And it sure beats the heck out of pushing them by hand, which I also did some. It was also nice to spend some time outside, which was a nice change from the Service Desk, since we’re in what could almost be described as a well-lit cave.

And I learned that I can control a machine pushing a pile of carts that is about 50 feet long (at least) better than I can control one of the electric carts that people ride around the store. One time when I was greetering, I had to park one of those things after someone was done with it, and promptly backed into a wall. That, by the way, earned me the affectionate nickname “Crash”.

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Categories: Television, Walmart

We had a slight change to my Wal-Mart appearance today…

February 27, 2004, 11:53 PM

I got a new vest! Finally, one that fits properly. It’s BIG. I can button it up and still have room to spare.

It’s also technically a women’s vest, since it’s a little bit longer than the men’s vests. This works out well for me, since now my vest’s pockets are actually at a level where I can actually make good use of them. They were too high on the other vest. Only weird thing is that it buttons the other way. But that’s women’s fashions for you, I guess.

And the bit of humor I injected into it is my comment about why I have the women’s vest: “Hey, I’m a big girl.”

Meanwhile, the latest adventure of “Fools With Tools” was putting together that bookshelf. I managed to scrape against a half-assembled shelf, and cut the top of my foot for an inch’s length. It doesn’t hurt too much, and didn’t bleed too much, either. So there you go.

Now tonight we put the shelf in its right place and then start loading it. And I got the right size shelf for the printer.

Categories: Bedroom remodel, Walmart

There’s a reason I’m not a carpenter…

February 27, 2004, 3:17 AM

…and that bookshelf is reason enough. No, I didn’t manage to screw it up. It actually stands up, and it actually looks half decent. It is currently standing in the middle of the room, but that will hopefully only be the case until tomorrow after work, when I move all my clothes out of the way and then get that shelf settled into place against the side wall.

And then let the firestorm begin. All my stuff comes back. All remaining books return. All my video tapes return. And whatever other miscellaneous stuff I have comes back. And then once I can reach it, the couch shall return in its new home. And then the wall décor goes up.

Things will change, though. My load of books will be much lighter now, with my having gotten rid of a LOT of books I’ve outgrown. A lot will go to Mom’s sixth grade classroom, much to her delight. I believe Mom’s also giving a lot of my old books to our church. As you can see, I’ve entrusted the distribution of my discard books to Mom. She’s good at this and will do well in finding them new homes. Meanwhile, a dilemma… since I got rid of the video tape wall, and spackled and painted over the remains after the hardware was removed, the question remains… where in the heck am I going to put all my videos?!? True, I have those two new cabinets that are next to the computer, but I know they’ll be full.

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Categories: Bedroom remodel, Walmart

If I wanted a mullet, this would be a good time to start.

February 26, 2004, 10:20 AM

But I don’t, so I need to get a haircut already, since a mullet is the one hairdo I just simply can’t stand. If you can believe it, the last time I got a haircut was on January 5. So I think you’ll agree, with it getting close to two months since I last got a trim, that it’s time.

I figure I’m probably going to go to SmartStyle this time, which is in my own Waynesboro Wal-Mart. I figure that way I can just do it after work, plus Wal-Mart associates get 20% off at SmartStyle.

All the more reason I’m glad I work in a Supercenter, and not a regular Wal-Mart. Regular Wal-Marts don’t have haircut places, among other things. Though not all Supercenter hair places are SmartStyle, mind you. When I lived in Arkansas, the Wal-Mart Supercenters in Springdale and Bentonville (the latter being laid out just like Staunton) had a place called “Fantastic Sam’s” as the in-store barber shop.

Categories: Myself, Walmart

Two days off really leaves a person refreshed!

February 25, 2004, 2:47 PM

And I broke my promise to myself not to go into a Wal-Mart on this “weekend” (it’s two consecutive days off – that’s just as good as Saturday and Sunday in my book), as I had to go out to get some odds and ends that were running out. Note, though, that I went to Staunton instead of my own store.

Otherwise, I got the desk back into position against the wall. That was good. The Merry Maids (a company we employ that comes every other Wednesday to clean) commented that the place will look really nice when it’s finished. I agree. It’s going to look SO nice when it’s done.

So by tonight, I should have the computer set back up. This whole thing about using Dad’s computer is really a pain. Especially after starting up his computer, discovering a program called “Spybot – Search & Destroy” that takes ten minutes to check your computer for spyware when you start up. I terminated that program prematurely, since I believe that the best spyware deterrent is to actually (God forbid) know and pay attention to what you’re putting on your computer. That’s what I do. I do have Ad-Aware on my computer, but that I only use if I think I may have spyware. Then it goes and finds it and does away with it.

Of course, we still ask the question of why his computer was off to begin with, but that’s not as important.

Newest TV show idea that will never catch on: “Fools With Tools”

February 23, 2004, 11:42 PM

“Fools With Tools”. That describes my feeble first and second attempts at trying to remove some equipment at the Service Desk to take to another department. The third time was the charm.

Still, I was amusing. I was turning a little red trying to unscrew some screws, and at the same time trying not to strip the screws. The “How may I help you?” on the back of everyone’s vests would be better put as “How can you help me, and don’t you think I could use it?” in my case.

However, the third screwdriver worked, thankfully. Still, everyone got a kick out of my ineptitude with a screwdriver, and my “Fools With Tools” title.

Speaking of Wally World, I bought my torchiere lamps today. I bought the one with the reading lamp in Waynesboro, but since they didn’t have enough of the non-reading lamp ones for me to buy there. So I went to Staunton after work and bought some there. It’s handy to have two Wal-Marts in the area. If we’re out of something, I can go over to Staunton and get it.

Speaking of Wal-Mart, I’ve made it – I’m off for two days! So that’s why I bought the lamps today instead of later. I am NOT going into a Wal-Mart store until Thursday afternoon.

Meanwhile, after I check my Email and finish this journal entry, I have to take the computer apart so I can paint behind it, which will complete the paint job. If you hear from me before I’m done painting, it means that I’m probably using Dad’s computer downstairs.

So now it’s time to take apart the computer. This will be a pain in the butt.

Categories: Bedroom remodel, Walmart

We moved the bed, and one last section to go.

February 21, 2004, 12:50 AM


The bed is in its new home! Mom said I was nuts putting the bed against two outside walls. Of course, how convenient that she forgets that Sis's room is already done up that way, with her bed against two outside walls. But still, I like it. I have yet to sleep in the bed in this orientation, but it looks good. Plus I'm glad to see some furniture against a gray wall for a change. It looks GOOD. I also put outlet covers on the plugs that are next to the bed's location (they sell those in infants, not hardware, to my surprise). This way, I don't accidentally get my butt zapped, which I think is important.
The bed is in its new home! Mom said I was nuts putting the bed against two outside walls. Of course, how convenient that she forgets that Sis’s room is already done up that way, with her bed against two outside walls. But still, I like it. I have yet to sleep in the bed in this orientation, but it looks good. Plus I’m glad to see some furniture against a gray wall for a change. It looks GOOD. I also put outlet covers on the plugs that are next to the bed’s location (they sell those in infants, not hardware, to my surprise). This way, I don’t accidentally get my butt zapped, which I think is important.

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Categories: Bedroom remodel, CFW

One more thing…

February 13, 2004, 10:03 PM

I had this dream last night that CFW Information Services (later Telegate USA) was reopening, and I was going back there to work. Of course, it was a dream, but it was amusing nonetheless, because while it was a good job while it lasted, I’m kind of glad I don’t work there anymore.

What’s amusing about it, though, is that I had this dream last night, and then today at work ran into no less than six former coworkers from CFW who were shopping. Found out that the building where we all used to work will actually be reopening, with the new tenant being Dupont Credit Union. My guess is that they use it as a call center, when you consider that the building was designed as a call center, but you never know. It could be used for offices, since our main operations room was a BIG room. Could house a lot of cubicle-dwellers in there.

Still, interesting, but I’m glad I work at Wal-Mart, and not at CFW anymore.

Categories: CFW, Dreams

Snow? Bring it on! You’ll have to do better than that to keep me from getting to work!

January 26, 2004, 2:16 AM

Yeah, it snowed today. Lots of snow. Several inches’ worth on the car when I left work. But I made it home. Roads were hideous, needless to say. And I saw this one idiot on 340 ahead of me swerving quite a bit as he pulled onto the road before regaining control of his truck. I may have gone 25 mph the whole way, but I did not slide once.

And needless to say, I’m getting to work again tomorrow, even if I have to hitch-hike. I should point out it’s still snowing.

And meanwhile, there is something that just really irks me that I have been wanting to talk about. Some people are the biggest hypocrites that you can think of. Any time I tell someone where I work, it seems they always have something to say about it. Well, big-company this, and mom-and-pop that. And downtown-decay this, and squeezes-out-everything that. And what’s amazing is that these people who talk about this, first of all, are educated people who should know to back their facts up before spouting off. And secondly, they tell me, the associate, that I am wrong. Two examples…

There is a certain religious group that I affiliate with (look elsewhere on the Web site to find out their identity) that I enjoy participating in activities with. Then I mentioned back in October that I had applied to work with good ol’ Wally World. I get the whole evil-corporation spiel from the minister, who then goes on to spout off some “facts” that, if they had actually done any research, they would find were totally false. Then they brag about how long it’s been since they set foot in a Wal-Mart store.

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Categories: Walmart, Winter weather

I met Reo Hatfield today

January 25, 2004, 12:05 AM

Yes, that’s right. Waynesboro City Councilman Reo Hatfield came through my line at work today. Well, actually yes and no. He went through a line I was working, but I did not directly check him out. In case you’re wondering, I was the attendant at the self-checkouts, which is something that I enjoy doing at work, since after using them enough, I can make them scan merchandise, weigh produce, add up the price for donuts, wash your laundry, and sing “The Star Spangled Banner” backwards.

Anyway, though, I recognized Mr. Hatfield as being who he was, and it was kind of like meeting a celebrity. I don’t live in Waynesboro (I live in Stuarts Draft, which is part of Augusta County), so I can’t vote for him one way or another, but still, with him being in the newspapers recently regarding matters pertaining to the Waynesboro City Council, it was kind of neat to see him come through my self-checkouts.

Recall that I am/was a Public Administration major at JMU, and so meeting public officials is kind of cool. I should have gotten his autograph.